Saturday, January 14, 2006
Second chances are miracles in and of themselves
What an amazing experience! I got back from another long, arduous, wonderful audition. And, I think I did really well. There is only one girl part however and there were seven called back for it. I still think I'm a major contender. Even if I don't get in, Arsenic and Old Lace is going to be amazing and I know I did my best. :) For those hours that I was auditioning I got this wonderful confirmation that this is what I need to be doing. It's what I love. It's what I want to give to people. How many people get to know that at age twenty?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Sleepless infatuation on worry
Auditions. Good... actually great! And the bad. I don't understand how I can be so hot and cold. Why one moment I am so connected and the next I'm floundering. I have so much to improve upon. So I'm acting track. I don't do extended realism or historical pieces very well. To my frustration because that's what BYU prefers. I don't know when I'm going to work on it. I need to be dancing, acting, being in shows, working, singing, monologueing, auditioning, doing homework, and praying I don't drown. I need some direction. I need to be an insomniac. :)
It's funny because I love this. I love acting. I couldn't imagine anything else. But how am I going to get where I need to be? How am I going to flourish when I'm trying just to survive? I'm never ever going to date. When? Who would want this life? (Another actor who has a free idea of love. I mean free in the sense that we never see each other but we eventually come together at times to talk about nothing and everything until we have to leave again.) But I can't really see a love life for me anyway. It's not that big of a deal. So many sacrifice it.
But the sleep thing. I kind of need that. I want to sleep long enough to dream.
It's funny because I love this. I love acting. I couldn't imagine anything else. But how am I going to get where I need to be? How am I going to flourish when I'm trying just to survive? I'm never ever going to date. When? Who would want this life? (Another actor who has a free idea of love. I mean free in the sense that we never see each other but we eventually come together at times to talk about nothing and everything until we have to leave again.) But I can't really see a love life for me anyway. It's not that big of a deal. So many sacrifice it.
But the sleep thing. I kind of need that. I want to sleep long enough to dream.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Sunlight. Singing. Sheep.
Nothing is weirder than listening to Ben Folds cover Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. That being said...
So I leave one home for another in, oh, less than three days. Suck. I don't know how to feel. I guess neither happy or sad. I'm so elated to finally be accepted into the acting major. I can't explain in words what that means to me. I can't wait to have classes with, well, :)
But I wish my family were much closer. And, I feel sick trying to figure out what to do with my summer. It's just nauseating. I don't know where my life is anymore. Wherever I am I don't want to leave. Everyone is getting older. There are people in my life who might not ever know me. The real me. Heck. Do I even know that person yet? A part of me wants to lie on the grass with a big cotton sheet underneath the summer stars somewhere near a lake. Wrapped up in gorgeous white linen. It all seems so simple, so idyllic. What is it we are striving for in life? Why do I dream about the things I do? Is love the driving force? Is greed? Or is greed just a dirtier version of self-love? ...which brings it back to love in the first place.
Shakespeare. Sondheim. Sundays. Nakedness. Loss. Growth. Sushi. Swimming. Silver dollars. Dancing. Crying. Cuddling. Severing. Slipping. Simple.
Am I words? Am I energy? Am I life? Am I... where?
So I leave one home for another in, oh, less than three days. Suck. I don't know how to feel. I guess neither happy or sad. I'm so elated to finally be accepted into the acting major. I can't explain in words what that means to me. I can't wait to have classes with, well, :)
But I wish my family were much closer. And, I feel sick trying to figure out what to do with my summer. It's just nauseating. I don't know where my life is anymore. Wherever I am I don't want to leave. Everyone is getting older. There are people in my life who might not ever know me. The real me. Heck. Do I even know that person yet? A part of me wants to lie on the grass with a big cotton sheet underneath the summer stars somewhere near a lake. Wrapped up in gorgeous white linen. It all seems so simple, so idyllic. What is it we are striving for in life? Why do I dream about the things I do? Is love the driving force? Is greed? Or is greed just a dirtier version of self-love? ...which brings it back to love in the first place.
Shakespeare. Sondheim. Sundays. Nakedness. Loss. Growth. Sushi. Swimming. Silver dollars. Dancing. Crying. Cuddling. Severing. Slipping. Simple.
Am I words? Am I energy? Am I life? Am I... where?
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Growing into an age
I'm twenty. It's amazing how contradictory I feel. I feel so much more responsible and filled out as a person and yet I feel so inexperienced. So I write poetry. I guess you'll have to get used to me emoting in this manner. It's kind of addicting for me.
I love a fabrication
Of ink and rouge and time.
The twisting calligraphy of personality
Dispersed among the spaces of silence
Voids we filled with our breath
On linen and in each other’s hair
I imagine you a writer
In a pastoral Parisian town
And I an uncompromising artist
Five hundred kilometers away/ Flooding the streets of Florence with colour
My letters would be your wallpaper
And yours the tiling of my floor
Reminding ourselves we are only as distant as a memory
I keep a guest room that you will never visit.
But we make love there every night the sun and moon collide
I love the morning with you
The dewiness of day and
Your frosty breath the cool breeze
Of everything I ever needed
But could never think to ask for.
We lie there, sleeping for centuries.
We are the death of selfishness, the birth of innocence
We are the birds and the grass and the ink and the rouge
We bleed together and time blurs
We love and are love.
I love a fabrication
Of ink and rouge and time.
The twisting calligraphy of personality
Dispersed among the spaces of silence
Voids we filled with our breath
On linen and in each other’s hair
I imagine you a writer
In a pastoral Parisian town
And I an uncompromising artist
Five hundred kilometers away/ Flooding the streets of Florence with colour
My letters would be your wallpaper
And yours the tiling of my floor
Reminding ourselves we are only as distant as a memory
I keep a guest room that you will never visit.
But we make love there every night the sun and moon collide
I love the morning with you
The dewiness of day and
Your frosty breath the cool breeze
Of everything I ever needed
But could never think to ask for.
We lie there, sleeping for centuries.
We are the death of selfishness, the birth of innocence
We are the birds and the grass and the ink and the rouge
We bleed together and time blurs
We love and are love.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Quotes that inspire me
"God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future-- to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities. God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe." ~Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
So that's the best definition of belief in God I have heard so far. And, the crazy thing is... I see how it's true. I've been afforded some clarity in my life. I desperately needed it. While, I don't know for certain if I'm in the major or not yet, I have an excellent shot at it.
"The gift of discernment opens to us vistas that stretch far beyond what can be seen with natural eyes or heard with natural ears. Discerning is seeing with spiritual eyes and feeling with the heart-- seeing and feeling the falsehood of an idea or the goodness in another person. Discerning is hearing with spiritual ears and feeling with the heart--hearing and feeling the unspoken concern in a statement or the truthfulness of a testimony or doctrine." ~Elder David A. Bednar
So that's the best definition of belief in God I have heard so far. And, the crazy thing is... I see how it's true. I've been afforded some clarity in my life. I desperately needed it. While, I don't know for certain if I'm in the major or not yet, I have an excellent shot at it.
"The gift of discernment opens to us vistas that stretch far beyond what can be seen with natural eyes or heard with natural ears. Discerning is seeing with spiritual eyes and feeling with the heart-- seeing and feeling the falsehood of an idea or the goodness in another person. Discerning is hearing with spiritual ears and feeling with the heart--hearing and feeling the unspoken concern in a statement or the truthfulness of a testimony or doctrine." ~Elder David A. Bednar
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
More poetry
In sickness I awoke today a shadow of my spirit.
My head was full of thoughts unvoiced
and emotions left to fester.
Someday I'll let them all run loose
and scald the air with life.
But today they'll collect from dripping
from the places I forgot to hide.
I long for a road to run away from all my responsibility.
Sometimes it's dirt and all my troubles filth the air behind me.
Sometimes it's grass and I go slower enjoying the rocky ride.
Somtimes it's sand and I get stuck from problems I left behind.
But then sometimes I stay with structure on pathways made of brick
And I can't see a different road though there are thousands I could pick.
But all I need to run away is the kiss of wind upon my face
Assuring me that leaving is the answer I should take.
A road for my thoughts and a road for my soul
I choose to loosen my grip on control.
My head was full of thoughts unvoiced
and emotions left to fester.
Someday I'll let them all run loose
and scald the air with life.
But today they'll collect from dripping
from the places I forgot to hide.
I long for a road to run away from all my responsibility.
Sometimes it's dirt and all my troubles filth the air behind me.
Sometimes it's grass and I go slower enjoying the rocky ride.
Somtimes it's sand and I get stuck from problems I left behind.
But then sometimes I stay with structure on pathways made of brick
And I can't see a different road though there are thousands I could pick.
But all I need to run away is the kiss of wind upon my face
Assuring me that leaving is the answer I should take.
A road for my thoughts and a road for my soul
I choose to loosen my grip on control.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
The poetry of my day
Salted Wounds
I couldn't let you see me cry.
You who has never known disapointment.
You who was staring at me completely void of emotion.
Not knowing whether to swallow me in your large embrace
or let solitude burn my agony out.
You who kept your gaze fixed, waiting for me to crack.
And I was filled with apathetic rage.
The rage that hollows out your insides
leaving nothing but stinging flesh and
the bite of despair.
And I couldn't let you see me cry.
I couldn't give that gift to you.
My fragile self was too close to the surface and
the steel of your blue eyes was too bitter and
your hands were too rough.
I couldn't be that vulnerable.
I was already broken and blistered
But to be shattered-
well...I could never be me again.
I couldn't let you see me cry.
You who has never known disapointment.
You who was staring at me completely void of emotion.
Not knowing whether to swallow me in your large embrace
or let solitude burn my agony out.
You who kept your gaze fixed, waiting for me to crack.
And I was filled with apathetic rage.
The rage that hollows out your insides
leaving nothing but stinging flesh and
the bite of despair.
And I couldn't let you see me cry.
I couldn't give that gift to you.
My fragile self was too close to the surface and
the steel of your blue eyes was too bitter and
your hands were too rough.
I couldn't be that vulnerable.
I was already broken and blistered
But to be shattered-
well...I could never be me again.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Understanding Eve
All I can say is I'm beginning to understand how people can be tempted. I am not exempt from those emotions. Is it weird that now I have a much better perspective when I read scripts, watch movies, and talk to people? I'm just glad that the situation I was in is not incriminating. I can feel the emotions I was trying so desperately to rid myself of. Still, I now know how vulnerable I am.
She's sun and rain. She's fire and ice.
A little crazy but it's nice.
And when she gets mad you best leave her alone.
She'll rage just like a river;
then she'll beg you to forgive her.
Oh, she's every woman that I've ever known.
She's so New York and then LA
and every town along the way.
She's every place that I've never been.
She's making love on rainy nights.
She's a strobe of Christmas lights.
And she's every thing I wanna do again.
And it needs no explanation
cause it all makes perfect sense.
When it comes down to temptation,
she's on both sides of the fence.
She's anything but typical.
She's so unpredictable.
Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad.
She's as real as real can be
and she's every fantasy.
Lord, she's every lover that I've ever had.
She's every lover that I've ever had.
She's sun and rain. She's fire and ice.
A little crazy but it's nice.
And when she gets mad you best leave her alone.
She'll rage just like a river;
then she'll beg you to forgive her.
Oh, she's every woman that I've ever known.
She's so New York and then LA
and every town along the way.
She's every place that I've never been.
She's making love on rainy nights.
She's a strobe of Christmas lights.
And she's every thing I wanna do again.
And it needs no explanation
cause it all makes perfect sense.
When it comes down to temptation,
she's on both sides of the fence.
She's anything but typical.
She's so unpredictable.
Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad.
She's as real as real can be
and she's every fantasy.
Lord, she's every lover that I've ever had.
She's every lover that I've ever had.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
On a gray day you can see for never
I'm really tired of guys right now. I know I'm going to sound like the typical spinster/feminist but honestly.
Today, I'm studying in the library and this guy that used to be my friend and we used to have these great conversations and we used to hang out on occassion, treated me so coldly. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I never backed out of my friendship with him. I never changed my personality. I never expected anything of him. I'm still trying to be cordial and polite but all I get is sharpness.
This same thing happened to me with another boy who is in a lot of my classes. This is going to sound uber-insecure, but I just haven't been feeling... I don't know. How do you put it in words? Because it's more than physically attractive. I'm not stupid enough to allow these guys to influence whether or not I'm beautiful. I feel like I'm not fun, or spontaneous, or interesting, or too smart. And, I know I shouldn't care what they think. But lately, I... I've been feeling insecure. Blah. It's out there.
I'm not writing this blog so that I guilt anyone into telling me I'm a wonderful person. I want to let you know and more importantly myself know that I am human. I feel shy, confused, embarrassed, guilty, at different times. Sometimes all at once. I don't want anyone to ever think that because of the faith that I claim as my own that I have all of the answers or that I'm never depressed. While I feel like there are things in my life I need to change, I don't feel like I'm "sinning." I don't think doubting/questioning areas of my faith is a bad thing. And it's not pulling the foundation out from under me. I don't think God is dissastisfied by my questioning either. And I don't think even if I were totally assured in my convictions that I would never feel this hodge-podge of melancholy that I'm feeling right now. And, I know that I do experience moments of exquisite joy. Primarily when it concerns my family.
Life is so interesting. For those of you who read this, thanks for going along for the ride. Know that I love you. More than anything. Know how happy you make me and that there is never a day when I'm not thinking about you, your happiness, and all that you give me. Love. Love. Love. I send it to you.
Today, I'm studying in the library and this guy that used to be my friend and we used to have these great conversations and we used to hang out on occassion, treated me so coldly. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I never backed out of my friendship with him. I never changed my personality. I never expected anything of him. I'm still trying to be cordial and polite but all I get is sharpness.
This same thing happened to me with another boy who is in a lot of my classes. This is going to sound uber-insecure, but I just haven't been feeling... I don't know. How do you put it in words? Because it's more than physically attractive. I'm not stupid enough to allow these guys to influence whether or not I'm beautiful. I feel like I'm not fun, or spontaneous, or interesting, or too smart. And, I know I shouldn't care what they think. But lately, I... I've been feeling insecure. Blah. It's out there.
I'm not writing this blog so that I guilt anyone into telling me I'm a wonderful person. I want to let you know and more importantly myself know that I am human. I feel shy, confused, embarrassed, guilty, at different times. Sometimes all at once. I don't want anyone to ever think that because of the faith that I claim as my own that I have all of the answers or that I'm never depressed. While I feel like there are things in my life I need to change, I don't feel like I'm "sinning." I don't think doubting/questioning areas of my faith is a bad thing. And it's not pulling the foundation out from under me. I don't think God is dissastisfied by my questioning either. And I don't think even if I were totally assured in my convictions that I would never feel this hodge-podge of melancholy that I'm feeling right now. And, I know that I do experience moments of exquisite joy. Primarily when it concerns my family.
Life is so interesting. For those of you who read this, thanks for going along for the ride. Know that I love you. More than anything. Know how happy you make me and that there is never a day when I'm not thinking about you, your happiness, and all that you give me. Love. Love. Love. I send it to you.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Mirror Mirror
No, the reason my picture is a blog entry is not because I am that vain and know how much you love that picture. Frankly, you're probably all bored with it anyway. The reason it is there is the same reason I have not changed my facebook picture. I'm technologically stupid. Last night I was attempting to put a profile picture in my blog and that entry was the result. Mind you this was a forty-five minute attempt to try to get it right. And my uncle wonders why I'm not a computer science major. Technology hates me.
So that is me. I don't think I'm going to take it off. I wouldn't really know how and even if I could learn I'd rather spend the time learning how to put things on the right way. So maybe I'll get lucky and the casting director of the new Bourne movie will need a Matt Damon "it" girl for the third sequel and just happen to stumple upon this interesting blog of an actress in Utah. How's that for fantasy?! While I'm dreaming... can I have some unknown trust fund be made known and a house in Alsace donated to me?
So that is me. I don't think I'm going to take it off. I wouldn't really know how and even if I could learn I'd rather spend the time learning how to put things on the right way. So maybe I'll get lucky and the casting director of the new Bourne movie will need a Matt Damon "it" girl for the third sequel and just happen to stumple upon this interesting blog of an actress in Utah. How's that for fantasy?! While I'm dreaming... can I have some unknown trust fund be made known and a house in Alsace donated to me?
Thursday, October 20, 2005
"In the beginning was the Tao?"
I've been doing so much thinking about God. I guess when you attend a religious university, play a character in a production who questions who God is all the time, have a class that studies the world religions from a truly unbiased standpoint, and take a theatre history course where you analyze the Book of Job from a theatrical/mythological perspective... this will happen.
I was reading a book for yet another class, American Heritage, and my thoughts just started going. The ecclesiastical leader was challenging why we have to remove God from the political happenings of our country. He wasn't advocating a particular god over another, he was attibuting the moral values this country was founded on to a supreme being/force. He was also pointing out that our nation is ridding itself of the values that make it strong. Who do you offend when you leave God in or take him out of the Constitution? Does anytime God is mentioned in the important documents of our country refer to the Judeo-Christian deity? Does it have to? Do we have to remove God to be tolerant? Is it wrong to recognize a force of moral responsibility to found our country on? Is it blasphemous for an individual from a Judeo-Christian background to advocate this stance that appears to strip the traditional God of worship down to an idea? These are some of the questions tumbling around in my mind. Are people removing God to be tolerant or removing God to remove themselves from moral responsibility? I know that is assuming there is a universal moral right and wrong. But does believing that there are universal rights and wrongs automatically make an individual intolerant or unsusceptible to change?
I know I'm rambling and not making much sense. But as I was reading I wondered what the definition of an atheist is. What if you believe that there is only a force in the world? Or that there are only universal laws? There is no God in Taoism. Not that a Judeo-Christian tradition would consider. However, Tao, is a force that is revered. In tao there is no beginning or end. (Like alpha and the omega.) Taoists would never call themselves atheist however. But from a political perspective the word God would include Tao values, because Taoists believe in a universal force that promotes right-doing.
We had a discussion in my acting class about whether truth needed to be precisely adequate and raw in order to teach. Do we need to show the exact level of violence in a war movie as what was really experienced in order for people to understand? Do we need to use the profanity of a hardened criminal in order to come to terms with his/her courseness? The teacher was not advocating a particular answer but rather was calling our attention to how impressionable we are. How vulnerable we are in theatre to be shaped and molded by forces we allow to take control of us. (My thoughts again -->) Are we really free if we are bound to a society that spells out what tolerance is and what it is not? What reality is and what it is not? I don't know. I don't know.
I really hope that people will post their own ramblings. I'm not necessarily looking for answers but ideas, contrasting ideas about the world. If they are too private but you want to share email me.
I was reading a book for yet another class, American Heritage, and my thoughts just started going. The ecclesiastical leader was challenging why we have to remove God from the political happenings of our country. He wasn't advocating a particular god over another, he was attibuting the moral values this country was founded on to a supreme being/force. He was also pointing out that our nation is ridding itself of the values that make it strong. Who do you offend when you leave God in or take him out of the Constitution? Does anytime God is mentioned in the important documents of our country refer to the Judeo-Christian deity? Does it have to? Do we have to remove God to be tolerant? Is it wrong to recognize a force of moral responsibility to found our country on? Is it blasphemous for an individual from a Judeo-Christian background to advocate this stance that appears to strip the traditional God of worship down to an idea? These are some of the questions tumbling around in my mind. Are people removing God to be tolerant or removing God to remove themselves from moral responsibility? I know that is assuming there is a universal moral right and wrong. But does believing that there are universal rights and wrongs automatically make an individual intolerant or unsusceptible to change?
I know I'm rambling and not making much sense. But as I was reading I wondered what the definition of an atheist is. What if you believe that there is only a force in the world? Or that there are only universal laws? There is no God in Taoism. Not that a Judeo-Christian tradition would consider. However, Tao, is a force that is revered. In tao there is no beginning or end. (Like alpha and the omega.) Taoists would never call themselves atheist however. But from a political perspective the word God would include Tao values, because Taoists believe in a universal force that promotes right-doing.
We had a discussion in my acting class about whether truth needed to be precisely adequate and raw in order to teach. Do we need to show the exact level of violence in a war movie as what was really experienced in order for people to understand? Do we need to use the profanity of a hardened criminal in order to come to terms with his/her courseness? The teacher was not advocating a particular answer but rather was calling our attention to how impressionable we are. How vulnerable we are in theatre to be shaped and molded by forces we allow to take control of us. (My thoughts again -->) Are we really free if we are bound to a society that spells out what tolerance is and what it is not? What reality is and what it is not? I don't know. I don't know.
I really hope that people will post their own ramblings. I'm not necessarily looking for answers but ideas, contrasting ideas about the world. If they are too private but you want to share email me.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Things that make me happy
1. Friends that are girls.
2. Last minute spontaneous lunch breaks that almost make you late for work.
3. Procrastinating on my theatre history homework because theatre history sucks. (Guess what I'm doing right now?)
4. Watching Arrested Development.
5. Swimming a mile to prove to my brother that I can do it. Even if the only stroke I can do is the breast stroke without drowning.
6. Sitting in the Actor side of the HFAC because I am now accepted into the HFAC Actor Slab Group.
7. Reading my friends comments on my blog. They make my days.
8. Being a liberal.
9. Talking about boys. Even though they are clueless and sometimes shallow. (But hey girls are too.)
10. Being in a play.
11. YOGA.
12. Diet A & W Rootbeer because my roommate Carie thinks it's funny that I like healthy things but love carbonation.
13. Sleeping naked. (When I'm alone. It would weird my roommate out too much.)
14. Good conversation.
15. Family. That should be up at the top.
16. Pix/text messaging. My brother and I actually communicate now.
17. Doing well on my acting midterms.
18. Last minute spontaneous anything.
19. Walmart shopping sprees.
20. Green sweatpants.
21. My friends.
22. Sheila. I love the rest of you too, but I feel like I really have to put Sheila's name down.
23. Living in Mormon-land where everyone thinks everyone gets married at age 18 and being almost 20 without being in a serious relationship.
24. Reading movie scripts.
25. Writing this list.
2. Last minute spontaneous lunch breaks that almost make you late for work.
3. Procrastinating on my theatre history homework because theatre history sucks. (Guess what I'm doing right now?)
4. Watching Arrested Development.
5. Swimming a mile to prove to my brother that I can do it. Even if the only stroke I can do is the breast stroke without drowning.
6. Sitting in the Actor side of the HFAC because I am now accepted into the HFAC Actor Slab Group.
7. Reading my friends comments on my blog. They make my days.
8. Being a liberal.
9. Talking about boys. Even though they are clueless and sometimes shallow. (But hey girls are too.)
10. Being in a play.
11. YOGA.
12. Diet A & W Rootbeer because my roommate Carie thinks it's funny that I like healthy things but love carbonation.
13. Sleeping naked. (When I'm alone. It would weird my roommate out too much.)
14. Good conversation.
15. Family. That should be up at the top.
16. Pix/text messaging. My brother and I actually communicate now.
17. Doing well on my acting midterms.
18. Last minute spontaneous anything.
19. Walmart shopping sprees.
20. Green sweatpants.
21. My friends.
22. Sheila. I love the rest of you too, but I feel like I really have to put Sheila's name down.
23. Living in Mormon-land where everyone thinks everyone gets married at age 18 and being almost 20 without being in a serious relationship.
24. Reading movie scripts.
25. Writing this list.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
A life to call my own
Finally! I finished working as a dresser for Fuente Ovejuna. Theatre majors have to do so many service credit hours for the major and my 360 credit is DONE. :) I will have five more hours to my day. Now instead of going from class to work to rehearsal to fuente, I can go home and eat dinner. Maybe talk to my roommate. Pick up my underwear. Memorize some monologues and sleep more than three hours a night.
For the first time in years (and I am not exaggerating) I got nine hours of sleep on a school night. It was intoxicating. I woke up so rejuvenated I thought for sure someone had drugged me. Mmm.
I'm in a show right now. It's called A Generation Raised in Propriety. The play is about this girl named Emma who has all of these friends who are abused. Her best friend is named Marie and Marie gets the worst from her father. Emma doesn't have a great family life (her mom is a terrible alcoholic and though she loves her father he can't take the pressure of his marrital situation and run-away son and leaves the family) either but because she isn't physically abused the kids at school think she is spoiled. The teachers at school are supposedly raising the children to live a proprietess life, but it's really a corrupting enculturation. The setting is Swindon, England so everyone (except for Ms. French) speaks with a British accent.
I'm playing Emma. It's my first lead at BYU. Though it is a student written, student directed show it will be playing on one of the mainstages so I am kind of nervous. I LOVE Emma. I just feel for her situation. I want to perform to the best of my ability.
So that's what has been going on in my life. I feel so disconnected from the world right now. I want to spend time with people, watch a movie, call people I haven't talked to in ages, and do well in my classes at school. I miss you all.
For the first time in years (and I am not exaggerating) I got nine hours of sleep on a school night. It was intoxicating. I woke up so rejuvenated I thought for sure someone had drugged me. Mmm.
I'm in a show right now. It's called A Generation Raised in Propriety. The play is about this girl named Emma who has all of these friends who are abused. Her best friend is named Marie and Marie gets the worst from her father. Emma doesn't have a great family life (her mom is a terrible alcoholic and though she loves her father he can't take the pressure of his marrital situation and run-away son and leaves the family) either but because she isn't physically abused the kids at school think she is spoiled. The teachers at school are supposedly raising the children to live a proprietess life, but it's really a corrupting enculturation. The setting is Swindon, England so everyone (except for Ms. French) speaks with a British accent.
I'm playing Emma. It's my first lead at BYU. Though it is a student written, student directed show it will be playing on one of the mainstages so I am kind of nervous. I LOVE Emma. I just feel for her situation. I want to perform to the best of my ability.
So that's what has been going on in my life. I feel so disconnected from the world right now. I want to spend time with people, watch a movie, call people I haven't talked to in ages, and do well in my classes at school. I miss you all.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Ice Ice Baby
I've been informed that ice crunching means more than a signal of iron deficiency.
Supposedly ice crunchers have pent up sexual tension...
I think I'll leave it at that. :)
Supposedly ice crunchers have pent up sexual tension...
I think I'll leave it at that. :)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Soy divertida!
Today someone threw me off guard. (Today by the way has been a much better day.) They asked me the simplest question. Subtracting school work and subtracting acting...
What do you do for fun?
And you know what. I was stumped. I know that I do stuff, but it has been a while since I sat down and made time for fun. Ack! I am my mother.
So over the next couple of days, weeks, whatever, I'm going to compile a list of things I like to do for fun. Not things I do because they will make me a better person. Not things I do that make others happy. (I'm not saying I shouldn't do those or that I'll stop.) But things I do to make me, Emily, happy. Feel free to contribute things you think I like to do in the form of comments. Or suggest things you like to do. I need ideas.
#1 I shamelessly drop anthing I'm doing whenever I notice Good Will Hunting is on TV. Life stops, whether there is five minutes or two hours left in that movie.
What do you do for fun?
And you know what. I was stumped. I know that I do stuff, but it has been a while since I sat down and made time for fun. Ack! I am my mother.
So over the next couple of days, weeks, whatever, I'm going to compile a list of things I like to do for fun. Not things I do because they will make me a better person. Not things I do that make others happy. (I'm not saying I shouldn't do those or that I'll stop.) But things I do to make me, Emily, happy. Feel free to contribute things you think I like to do in the form of comments. Or suggest things you like to do. I need ideas.
#1 I shamelessly drop anthing I'm doing whenever I notice Good Will Hunting is on TV. Life stops, whether there is five minutes or two hours left in that movie.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
