Son of a...

So I'm taking TMA 121, Voice and Diction for acting majors. We study the International Phonetic Alphabet and are learning how to speak the Standard American dialect. To those of you who don't know how that's any different from normal speaking think of hearing Shakespeare performed. The actors don't sound like normal people, they sound kind of British. At the same time though they sound too American to be British. There you have it Standard American.

Well on Wednesday one of my fellow MDT friends in the class brought up the real reason we were all taking Voice and Diction. (Yeah, I know it's required for the Music Dance Theatre major but that's small beans when compared to this trying argument.) The girl--whose name also happens to be Emily-- (Welcome to BYU... where if you don't have five brothers and sisters and at least on of them is named Emily or Ryan you should transfer.) dropped the loaded question. "So if we're learning the original form of speech, or the proper way of speaking... how does one pronounce c-r-e-e-k?" A silence fell over the classroom. You may think I'm kidding but everyone held rapt attention. Unfortunately our teacher, who is red-headed, Mormon version of Jim Carey was being entertained by someone else. I dug out my International-Phonetic-Alphabet-Standard-American-Whatever-the-heck-else dictionary to see what the authorities said.

While flipping through the pages I couldn't help but remember sixth grade. I had a different teacher on Fridays for some weird reason that takes too long to explain. Mrs. Lavelle was an angel when compared to the regular teacher. Unlike the she-who-will-not-be-named, Mrs. Lavelle knew how to relate to us. During English class one day the creek/crick argument came up and she settled it on spot.

"This is the way I look at it. Do we have a town in our community called Beech Creek or Bitch Crick?" To sixth graders who had just started getting the flavor for cuss words on their tongues she taught us a lesson in proper English we would never forget.

So that's what I was thinking as I was looking up what the dictionary said. Here is the passage that I found:

"Creek" prounounced creek and crick, crick is much less frequently used in the South, but appears to be the native form in the North and East. Creek, originally a North British dialect form, is still native in the Appalachians. According to Horn's, Jordan's, and Luick's Historical English Grammars, crick represents the original word, later altered to creek and then spelt c-r-e-e-k. Crike is the much earlier recorded form. At first creek was not a spelling pronunciation, but the spelling creek doubtless encouraged it's spread. Luick thinks that American crick represents the normal Standard English development.

I couldn't believe it. All these years I grew up thinking I was better that the back woods Pennsylvania kids because I said creek. Turns out they were right and Mrs. Lavelle was wrong. I live near Bitch Crick.

The heartbreaker that I am

In a few short days we will have entered what I have now dubbed the Seargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club month. However, I refuse to wallow in my singlehood. The first reason is that V-day is just another completely commercialized holiday to get boys to spend money on roses or chocolates. (I don't like either, so in case a boy does feel like going out on a limb for me they don't have to spend much.) The second reason is I've been free for 19 years. 19 years of personal development! How many people can say that? Okay so maybe that's just a bunch of hoopla to convince myself that I am just too cool for a relationship. And that I intimidate boys. I've been told it's my height, it's my confidence, it's my femininity (riiight to that one), blah, blah, blah. Frankly it doesn't really matter.

For while I think that it would be really cool to get to know someone at a more personal level and perhaps you know kiss a little, :) I've realized that relationships scare me. (Plus, can't you just get to know someone at a more personal level by just being friends?) I have applied my self-evaluation during my classes. Here is what I've discovered. Marriage is freakin' scary. And, I don't want it to happen to me for awhile. I think this is why I steer away from the returned missionaries. I actually decided to forgo my earlier plan of taking Doctrine and Covenants before Book of Mormon part 2 for this very reason. I sat in DC class surrounded by all of these guys that a couple of weeks ago were spouting off scripture in fifty different languages and for some reason (call it paranoia if you will) they all looked like they were going to pounce on me with an engagement ring (another thing I don't really like or want).

What all of this has to do with the Seargent Pepper month is kind of beyond me now. But any reference to the Beatles is usually a good one. I guess what I want is to have a boy pay me some interest. Even if it were to just to get to know me better as a friend. It's also kind of a reassurance that no I'm not the intimidating "Abominable Snow Girl" I think I am. (Personal joke, sorry.) So February looks interesting one way or the other. Either I'll find a friend or discover more of me... and if I get too lonely I'll just put on some George Harrison and call it a month.

Entropic Ramblings

Something occurred to me a couple of days ago in my religion class. It really had nothing to do with what we were talking about or was prompted by anything the professor said. (Sorry professor, I guess my mind was wandering.) But the thought entered my mind that while science has claimed that there is a universal law that states that all things lead to entropy, life is a constant battle against that. Think about it. The mere fact that you are thinking about it is expanding your mind. You are growing. That gives a whole different meaning to education. If all we can take with us when we die is the knowledge we gain in this life, how are we viewing our education? As something we are just trying to get through? This is primarily a provocative question made to guilt no one else but me. If I'm not enjoying myself I can't really blame anyone but yours truly. Plus, I need to look at education as a way I'm battling against stagnation and universal laws. It's kind of cool in a way, I get this vision of myself with a light saber, only without the dorky braids. (Took an imagination break there, catching the next train of thought...)

I've also thought about how all of things that Satan gets us to do are entropic. He wants to stunt our progression. Hmm. Interesting when I think of the ways he does it. Think of all of the drug problems and disorders people struggle with. The mental as well as physical parts of the body can disintegrate away. He's also the king of spiritual entropy. We don't read our scriptures or say prayers, and the light we have within us dwindles.

The coolest way I can think that entropy is battled against is the atonement and resurrection. The Plan of Salvation does just that, saves us from Eternal damnation. So it's back to the justice and mercy thing. There is a God so we have universal laws, we have entropy, we have justice. But He loves us and wants us to return to live with him so we have Eternal life. We have the atonement, we have mercy.

Alright, I guess that's enough of the religious ramblings. Sometimes when I go off like that I feel like I become saccharine and ingenuine. Is that because I live in the land of zoobies (to steal Sven's word) and am afraid that people will see my thoughts as just regurgitated Mormon speculation? Isn't that terrible, to feel original and unoriginal all in one setting? :) Talk about conflicting entropic and progressive forces. And am I being elitist by thinking that there is something wrong with swallowing and repeating the fodder of religious professors, lecturers, leaders, etc? Or because I think of myself as possibly being elite does that mean I've even more unoriginal because I belong to the Generation Xers who doubt everything people tell them?

Where am I?

I know a lot of times people question who they are and where they are going in life. And, I guess I shouldn't feel pained or rejected because life throws me a few curve balls. I just wish sometimes that I understood all that was put before me. I wish that I could be honest, honest with myself and honest with the people I interact with, especially the people I love most in this world. Because I do love them.

I think about the progress and "backslides" I have gone through this year. Yes, it's been hard but do I deserve a label? For that matter, does anyone? Even if someone is a drug-addict, an inebriate, depressed, or lost... isn't their experience unique and can anyone think they understand what that person is going through because they know their vice? I really am naive. Could I have it any other way, though? I love people. Even when they hurt me deeper than they'll ever know I love them. And, I forgive them. I pray they forgive me.

I am here somewhere. And, in my sojourn I'll discover more of me.