The heartbreaker that I am

In a few short days we will have entered what I have now dubbed the Seargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club month. However, I refuse to wallow in my singlehood. The first reason is that V-day is just another completely commercialized holiday to get boys to spend money on roses or chocolates. (I don't like either, so in case a boy does feel like going out on a limb for me they don't have to spend much.) The second reason is I've been free for 19 years. 19 years of personal development! How many people can say that? Okay so maybe that's just a bunch of hoopla to convince myself that I am just too cool for a relationship. And that I intimidate boys. I've been told it's my height, it's my confidence, it's my femininity (riiight to that one), blah, blah, blah. Frankly it doesn't really matter.

For while I think that it would be really cool to get to know someone at a more personal level and perhaps you know kiss a little, :) I've realized that relationships scare me. (Plus, can't you just get to know someone at a more personal level by just being friends?) I have applied my self-evaluation during my classes. Here is what I've discovered. Marriage is freakin' scary. And, I don't want it to happen to me for awhile. I think this is why I steer away from the returned missionaries. I actually decided to forgo my earlier plan of taking Doctrine and Covenants before Book of Mormon part 2 for this very reason. I sat in DC class surrounded by all of these guys that a couple of weeks ago were spouting off scripture in fifty different languages and for some reason (call it paranoia if you will) they all looked like they were going to pounce on me with an engagement ring (another thing I don't really like or want).

What all of this has to do with the Seargent Pepper month is kind of beyond me now. But any reference to the Beatles is usually a good one. I guess what I want is to have a boy pay me some interest. Even if it were to just to get to know me better as a friend. It's also kind of a reassurance that no I'm not the intimidating "Abominable Snow Girl" I think I am. (Personal joke, sorry.) So February looks interesting one way or the other. Either I'll find a friend or discover more of me... and if I get too lonely I'll just put on some George Harrison and call it a month.