It's late. I should be working on my lesson for Enrichment. I should be reading my scriptures. I should be studying Spanish. But most of all I should be sleeping. Instead I feel compelled to write. I've just been so stressed lately. This weekend will not be a weekend. I have two tests on Monday, another Spanish test Wednesday, cleaning checks, Enrichment, and acting practice tomorrow, and performances to attend, Holes meetings, and dance midterms next week. Yay for me.
I saw "Left Behind" tonight. It was a modern dance performance of the women who were left behind when their husbands served in the Mormon Batallion. My modern dance teacher choreographed the best number. She is incredible and I love her. Everytime I see a performance I think, my word I want to be able to dance like that. The sad thing is I probably never will be able to, but I am working so hard at improving. My teacher says that I should not give up hope, and that I should audition for the production. Especially since she heard I could sing. (How does she KNOW that? I never told her.) I need to think positively. I need to believe that some day I might be able to move in the way I saw those women move.
I have no idea what I'm going to do about classes for this spring (and next fall). I'm so confused with life. I know I want to get a BFA in either Music Dance Theatre or Acting, but I don't know what that's going to be and how I'm going to be able to squeeze everything in. I wish life were just slightly more seamless right now. I can't think of anything else I want to do than act and sing. I really feel like that is where my calling is. So often I worry if Heavenly Father has a completely different objective for me.
I need sleep. I guess I'll get up early do yoga, prepare my enrichment lesson, shower, and study. Wow, that sounds social. I'm really trying to find balance. Obviously this weekend won't be a success. Cest la vie. I wish I could sleep for twelve hours. Five or six will have to do.
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