No. This is not Emily announcing her desire for men and their lips. (Even though that is never too far from her thoughts.) This is her announcement that she has mono. So before my dear friends stop inviting me places or coming to see me because they think I am infectious here are some things they should know.
1. Mono is contracted 30 days before the symptoms appear. Before a scapegoat is hung, none of you PA people gave it to me. You can relax.
2. There is nothing anyone can do to avoid getting mono. Oh sure you can stop kissing people. (For you lucky jerks who get all the action-- why quit when you're ahead? :) ) You can not share sodas. But mono can be picked up from just breathing. And, since 85% of the population are carrying the virus as we speak, it's pretty hard to guess who not to speak to. Unless anyone wants to live like Jake Gyllenhall in Bubble Boy it's best to get over the paranoia. If you haven't contracted mono already you will. Might as well hang around me so you can get it before school starts. (I'm kidding. I'm not infectious now.)
3. Compared to rheumatic fever, the black lung *cough* (Mmm. Derek Zoolander), lukemia, and emphezema, mono is relatively mild.
4. Symptoms can be misinterpreted as Strep or a spider bite (both I have experience with so it was an easy misdiagnosis).
5. I'm alive, doing fine, wishing I could run around, but seeing all the movies people have made me all my life for never seeing. I'm taking recommendations.
There it is to a T. What's funny is the only symptom I do not have is being continually tired. Luckyyyy. Actually not being tired is driving me crazy. I feel like I should be running around, playing with my cousins, the works. But no... I'm stuck in a couch. Couches I've determined are death. Well, they're boring. Sometimes my temperature spikes up. That always makes me tired. Yay for hot flashes and cold spells. Being sick with mono is like being on that acid trip I'll never take.
Well, I'm breaking the first Mono-Recovery Commandment:
THOU SHALT SLEEP
I need to get some zzzs. If anyone needs me I'll be self-medicating with Arrested Development on DVD, Anna Karenina (see former blog), and Harry Potter. Or I'll be redirecting the Emily Burnworth/Johnny Depp collaboration of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. But that's a whole other blog...
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1 comment:
Hey Emmie Lou. I didn't know you pet your blogchild anymore... I'll have to keep tabs and if you actually stick with it I'll add you to my daily reading post.
I find it amazing that you're not tired. It's so great that your doc tested you for mono. It sucks to be on the downhill slide and THEN be told, "hey...the last 4 weeks have sucked so bad because...look at that! you have mono!"
Sounds like you're doing fab so far. The worst part of mono is sleeping and missing life. If you're not tired, you're doin' awesome.
Be nice to your spleen
See ya Sunday
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