Missing me

I once wrote a poem based off the emotions I felt from listening to a particular song with a particular someone. Most of my friends will know the context of which I'm speaking. And the friends that don't are the new ones that haven't really been exposed to a part of my life that used to be a huge white elephant in the room. I'm going to put the lyrics here. Because I really feel them right now. I mean every inch of me feels them right now.

In the shadow of tall buildings
Of fallen angels on the ceilings
Oily feathers in bronze and concrete
Faded colors, pieces left incomplete
The line moves slowly past the electric fence
Across the borders between continents

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is

In the shadowm of tall buildings
The architecture is slowly peeling
Marble statues and glass dividers
Someone is watching all of the outsiders
The line moves slowly through the numbered gate
Past the mosaic of the head of state

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is

In the shadow of tall buildings
Of open arches endlessly kneeling
Sonic landscapes echoing vistas
Someone is listening from a safe distance
The line moves slowly into a fading light
A final moment in the dead of night

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome
There is a feeling that you should just go home
And spend a lifetime finding out just where that is


I just am not sure where I'm supposed to be right now. Where is home? I know that doing this show is right. I am always so happy during rehearsal. Perhaps a little too happy because it is so close to a reality that in many ways I cannot have. I don't know what classes I want to take spring if I even want to take any. I miss my family and they all want me to come home for summer semester. But if I do that I won't be able to afford the fall semester. It's really frustrating because its the last summer I'll have to spend with my brother for almost three years.

In all of this is a suffering definition of myself. I know what career I want, but I want a life of experiences to build it out of.