Unsent

I recently downloaded Alanis Morissette's song Unsent. I have this self-destructive tendency to listen to music that allows me to wallow in overwhelming thoughts and emotions. I think people like me have solely supported the successful music careers of Sarah McLachlan and Jewel. I've been trying to understand why I love feeling like I'm drowning in emotion. I think sometimes I just need to hear from someone else the sound of loneliness, unrequited love, and charitable sweetness. I'm just going to include the lyrics. I played the song for my sister and mentioned the guy that was applicable to me in each verse. She laughed because they fit so perfectly. And then she got quiet. It's that ebb and flow of emotional understanding that often can only be conveyed through music and free lyricism.

Unsent - Alanis Morissette

Dear Matthew: I like you a lot.
I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now
and I respect that
I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future and you want to
come visit me in California I would be
open to spending time with you and finding out how old you were
when you wrote your first song

Dear Jonathan: I liked you too much
I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me
and think solely about themselves and you were
plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time
I used to say the more tragic the better
the truth is whenever I think of the early 90's
your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday

Dear Terrance: I love you muchly
you've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available and supportive an-
and nurturing and consummately there for me
I kept drawing you in and pushing you away I remember how beautiful it was to
fall asleep on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time you were the
best platform from which to jump beyond myself
what was wrong with me

Dear Marcus: You rocked my world
you had a charismatic way about you with the women
and you got me seriously thinking about spirituality and you wouldn't
let me get away with kicking my own ass
but I could never really feel relaxed and looked out for around you though
and that stopped us from going any furter than we did
and it's kinda too bad because we could've had much more fun

Dear Lou: We learned so much
I realise we won't be able to talk for some time
and I understand that as I do you
the long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could
we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives
I will always have your back and be curious about you
about your career your whereabouts


I know I have a hard time letting go or even wanting to let go. I know that I love self-destructively. I know that I want the kind of relationship that I have with the ocean. Gritty, clear, surprising, natural, inspiring, mysterious, and tidal.

Dear ______: I tried not to care.
I realise you haven't thought about me the way that I have you.
Probably for your benefit and mine. And if I
let myself get caught up in your smile, your laugh, your eyes then I would
never move beyond this stagnant place I'm in
I never wanted to overcloud the simplicity of our friendship
but sometimes life just creeps up on me.