So you think you're cool just cause you can unwrap that starburst with your tongue...

Over Christmas my cousin and I combined two deadly gestures. The awkward turtle and our tongue trick.

Okay... what? That's what you're thinking right? Well look at this! Someone was so kind to do an online demonstration.


And if you look it up on google images it'll move for you... providing a completely accurate example of how to do the awkward turtle. As far as the tongue trick goes... that's kind of an in family ability. I'll explain the best I can. Move your tongue from side to side in your mouth. Allow only the tip to just barely poke out while doing this. Sort of like if you were barely giving just a peek.

Combine these two things at the same time to memerise (or completely gross out) your friends... and to improve your motor skills.

Okay... so why did Jan and I start doing this? Well we used to do both separately until we discovered that the awkward turtle was only for things awkward. And the tongue thing was our way of making fun of things that should be sexy. Combining? AWKWARD SEXY THINGS!

I'm whipping out the awkward tongue turtle anecdote for a specific reason so bear with me. :)

Right now I'm kinda frustrated. I mean not in the normal blog moody Emily. I'm actually rather chipper lately. And more permanently chipper. So anyway, the frustration isn' t a woe is me gray coloured thing. It's just... anyway... I delay.

It's like things have totally unraveled between me and one of my good friends. And normally, I guess, we need to let these things go. You can't force friendships on people. You can't force your way back to things. Especially if the other person doesn't want to or doesn't know how to mend things. But when friendships have been really meaningful for awhile and there really hasn't been any serious fallout when things get awkward you kinda have to look at the reasons. And in this case I go... What the? (There are a few of you reading that might go... Emily you perpetuate these things too. Fair enough, I guess I'm classifying myself under the 'you don't know how to mend things.' And that's probably unfair too. So I'm sorry. Sorry for the twinge of hypocrisy this blog may have. I see that it's there. I hope you can see the differences. But I understand what you're thinking. I was thinking it while I was writing it.)

Anway...To be a bit more direct.

I mean if you were worried about screwing around with our friendship... you did it. Whether we did anything or not it's almost like we should have. Because then there'd at least be a reason to be awkward, but all this dead space. Shoot. This accidentally bumping into each other and me feeling like I can't even say hello and you going out of your way to ignore me... it's so confusing. If you wanted us to go back to being the way we were... we were not like that! I miss the hugs. The laughing about inside jokes. Me being able to tell you thank you without you thinking that I want something more. You not wanting to set me up with all of your friends and then not wanting to because none of them are 'good enough.' What am I supposed to think? Nothing I guess. And in three days I'm so outa here that none of this will matter.

But that just sucks. Cause I miss you. As my FRIEND. None of this tongue turtle business. I just want that back. But I guess When Harry Met Sally was right. :) (That's a throwout to you miss Jacklyn Marie.)

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

And sure. Maybe that's there too. The fact that maybe it's impossible for us to go back to being friends because it's out there. The "sex," the attraction, whatever you wanna call it. I'm just willing to deal with it in order to still be friends. Harry may be right, but he doesn't call all the shots on friendship and I miss ours.

So until then... I awkward tongue turtle.